By: Lara Darwish
They say there is no secret recipe to success. I say there is one, and it’s simple: Do not give up.
It might sound easier said than done, but the truth is that when you want something so bad, the idea of giving up on it becomes way harder and more painful than the act of perseverance. That’s my story.
I’ve recently closed a wild chapter of my life, and I keep zoning out as if my brain cannot quite fathom that I’ve already crossed the finish line. As I reflect on this journey, its components and what carried me through a goal that once felt near impossible amidst a complex situation, I know one thing for sure, it wasn’t luck, not the law of attraction nor some sort of manifestation letter that helped me get here; not even my wits alone. What brought me here was grit; raw, relentless grit fueled by every failure I’ve once endured that refused to let me quit.
Popular culture tends to romanticize success, making it look as simple as baking a cake. You’re either good at it or you’re not, but if you measure the ingredients carefully, you might, just might, pull that perfect fluffy pound cake out of the oven! When life doesn’t turn out that way, we’re quick to feel like failures, as if others are just luckier, or naturally gifted and more talented than we are.
But here’s the ugly truth; success is a very messy and painful process and many quit halfway because they do not want to muddle through the mud. When I look at someone’s own success story, my first thought isn’t only admiration, but also curiosity wondering what kind of hardship did they have to endure to get there. What did they give up on for this. Because the outcome might shine at the surface, but the process? The process is as messy as a mud fight multiplied by the number of weeks, months, or even years, it takes to get there.
Yet beneath that ugly truth, there is a yin to its yang: we are all capable of success. Each of us carries the capacity to rise above the mess, because when passion meets determination, in an environment uncluttered with distraction, we become unstoppable. If I could put it into a formula:
Passion + Determination – Distraction = Unstoppable.
Reflecting on this journey, I’d like to focus on the things that carried me through.
Choosing a goal worth fighting for is one thing, believing you can achieve it is another. And when doubt kicks in, and it will, consistent discipline and the right support system can make all the difference. In the end, it’s not just about reaching the goal, but also about who we become when we do.
You might have read “consistent discipline” and thought, well yeah, how idealistic…most of us probably know that’s what it takes, but let’s be honest; it’s hard to do. I was lucky to have surrounded myself with a few people who believed in my capacity to achieve and were consistently vocal about it. That belief became an invisible thrust, one that kept me going when my own drive wavered.
Because at its core, consistent discipline is a personal choice. The choice to do what you have to do, discipline, and to do it when it needs to be done, consistency. It’s not glamorous, and it’s rarely easy. It’s choosing to follow through regardless of how you feel, or what forms of instant relief are trying to hijack your attention and lure you away in the moment.
And over time, those brave choices become something deeper than motivation, they become your identity. You stop negotiating with your doubts, and start trusting yourself and the process, and if the goal is meaningful enough the idea of quitting becomes even more difficult than the struggle.
That day, I walked out of the university with tears of pride and pain after successfully completing my dissertation. A rush of thoughts was gushing through my mind, the years, the sleepless nights, the inner battles, and, most of all, the doubts I had to confront, all of them leading me to this once in a lifetime moment.
He held my hand and looked at me in silent pride, and it was a feeling I will forever cherish. I realized that it’s not merely about the goal, but about who we become in its pursuit, and the souls who walk beside us through every rise and fall until the finish line.